1. For Bella a Victorian Coral Choker and another truck (I've already gotten Jacob's promise that he will put a new engine it and make certain it runs better than the old one)

2.For Renesmee a pair of sapphire and diamond earrings and a first edition of A Little Princess inscribed with the words: you will always be my little princess.

3.For Alice a certificate to design your own pair of Jimmy Choos.

4. For Esme an antique cameo necklace

5. For Carlisle an extremely generous donation to the Medical Relief Fund in his name.

6. For Emmett an Autographed Gators Football Helmet It might even fit on your big head, Em

7. For Rose a Faberge Imperial Egg It plays the song I wrote for you.

8. For Leah a pair of Uggs Nessie assures me they're something you'll enjoy.

9. For Jacob a car lift for the garage to make working on the cars easier.

10. Embry a watch Its kinetic so you don't have to worry about winding it.

11.Seth Rockband for the Xbox. You can talk Emmett and Alice into playing with you.

12. Jasper an antique confederate field officer's sword

Merry Christmas

Muses: cullen_lion and swan_lamb
Fandom: Twilight Series
Prompt: 43.5 Spend a rainy day with your partner.

OOC: Co-written with cullen_lion and swan_lamb.


She lay tangled in silken sheets barely aware of anything but the few flakes of snow that wafted into their bedroom from the large window that Edward had opened and the music that he played her on the baby grand piano in the corner of the room. It was odd how she knew that she should be as freezing as it was outside but she wasn't. It was odd the little things that she sometimes still wasn't used to; the lack of a heartbeat, there was no rise and fall of her own chest and she didn't even blink. They were small things that she had yet to master. The rest of the Cullens did them so naturally. Bella still found herself having to consciously think her way through these forced actions.

Time really had no meaning on days like this. She felt infinitely lazy willingly indulging in one of the seven deadly sins, sloth. It was only when the snow turned to a heavy blanket of sleet that she spoke. And she spoke without looking away from the window to her husband behind her. "You don't even look at the piano keys. I can feel you staring at me."

A smile played across Edward's lips at her words while he continued to play. "I don't need to look at them. They're the same place they've always been and I like the view I have much better." They've been married for seven years but watching her hasn't ever gotten old. He loves days like this when the weather gives them an excuse to stay in. They've always got nights but sometimes it's nice to have the days as well.

The daytime cast a different glow on everything. Even with the veil of gray clouds looming overhead. The reflective snow on the ground caused the world to look as if it were tinted in a pristine white. Bella noticed that even her own normally pale skin looked glazed in an even lighter hue. She lazily stretched in the bed, a reflexive action that no longer had the same satisfying effect as it once had. The sheets shifted with her, revealing even more patches of skin almost too pale.

"If we weren't married I would call you a stalker." She teased. And in all actuality, he had once thoroughly and completely stalked her although she would never really refer to it as that. In her opinion it wasn't stalking if she wanted him there noticing her, watching her and wanting her.

He faltered ever so slightly as he watched her stretch then returned to playing the piano flawlessly, eyes still on her. "And I would say that married or not, the description is probably appropriate. However, I'm not sure anyone could blame me once they saw you." He shifted from Claire de Lune to Bella's lullaby without pause, his fingers dancing over the keys while he watched her.

The familiarity of the song -- her song -- made her smile. Edward knew better than anyone that a smile on Bella's lips was a feat in and of itself. She rolled over onto her side, flipping her hair back out of her face so that she could finally watch him, her amber tinted eyes meeting his. The smile slowly mellowed out so that her expression shown a simple pleasure and an adoration left bare and unmasked. "You know that you're the only one who thinks that I'm this... weird... mystic beauty from some fairytale. Not that I mind. I like that you see me that way."

The smile on her face was the reason he played her song for her. "Then the rest of the world is blind," Edward told her without pause. "You're enchanting and it's not my fault I'm the only one who sees it." A grin tugged up one corner of his lips. "Besides, if I remember correctly, Mike Newton thought you were fairly enchanting," he teased her. "If you'd had any survival instincts in the least, you'd have ended up married to him instead of me."

Pressing her lips together, Bella picked up one of the many pillows on the bed and threw it at Edward. The movement was almost too fast for the eye to see, but her husband would see it coming, no doubt. It was still worth the effort whether it hit him or not.

She was fast but Edward was still faster. He reached up and snatched the pillow out of the air with a chuckle then resumed playing, barely a hitch in the song. "Hey, maybe if I'd known you were going to abuse me, I would have let Mike Newton have you," he teased her. "You could be Lady of the Outdoor World or Camping Country, which ever it is."

"It was Newton Outfitters, and if you really paid attention to anything you would know that." She picked up another pillow and hurled it at him. As she did, she came up to her knees, holding the sheet loosely against her chest as she did.

Before the pillow hit him, Edward had abandoned the piano and crossed the room to kneel on the bed in front of her. He pressed a kiss to the curve of her neck, fingertips skirting across the edge of the sheet. His arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her flush against him as he nipped lightly at her skin. "I pay attention to the right things," he whispered into her neck.

As fast as she had gotten, Edward was always faster. He still had the ability to surprise her and catch her off guard. Bella never wanted that aspect of their relationship to change. She would have it no other way. The moment that she realized what he had done, she let go of the sheet so that it was only held up by the press of their bodies. Her arms wound up around his shoulders and neck and she canted her head to the side to bare her neck to him. It was a form of flirtation, she had learned. Edward seemed to love her neck even now when there was no warm blood running through her veins. "You do. And I like stalker you. So pay as much attention as you want."

"I certainly intend to," he whispered as he glided the tip of his nose along her neck up to her jawline so that he could press a kiss to her lips. "Make sure you can keep up," he flirted with her as he pulled her into a deeper kiss.

The kiss left no room to question where it was leading to and Bella was more than willing to give into the familiar path. She returned every bit as much as Edward gave to her. She found herself short of breath when the kiss broke. "I always do."

[Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?]

Set during Twilight, near the beginning of the book/movie

The splash of crimson against the marble white of her skin is so vivid that he can taste it. He can feel his teeth in her skin, the wash of warmth and sweetness fills his mouth and he swallows hard to keep from salivating. Drooling over a girl is one thing; drooling over her blood is quite another. He closes his eyes, forcing the image from his mind when he opens them again, her head is bowed, hair scooped up and away from the curve of her neck. His fingers dig into the laminate table top, the crack of wood making him jump. He doesn’t dare breathe, doesn’t need to breathe and yet his chest aches as if from a desperate need for oxygen.

She turns inward toward him, breath exhaling and he pushes himself to the edge of his chair, as far away from her as he can get without getting up to leave the room. He can’t focus because that image of her skin splashed with blood is back overriding every sense, every thought and every emotion. He’s quite there is something he should be paying attention to; something besides the thrum of Bella Swan’s blood beneath her skin.

It’s like a little hummingbird, fluttering there at her throat. The urge to reach out and crush that hummingbird sets his teeth on edge. And yet, for all the ways he wants to kill her and lap up her blood, he is also intrigued by her. She’s the one blank spot in the room, the book unread and he doesn’t like things unread, unexplored. The wish to consume her runs so much deeper than her blood and that desire threatens to swallow him whole, laying waste to everything he has built and become, branching out to decimate all of Carlisle’s efforts. Wanting her will be the death of them all but one shallow breath leaves him finding it hard to care.

In my world, most of the people I care about aren't really vulnerable. However there are a few who are and I'd take bullets for them gladly. I suppose it's not much of a sacrifice as they'd bounce off me but at least I'd deflect them.

-Renesmee (We're not quite certain she could be harmed by a bullet but we're not going to take the chance either.)

-Charlie

-Sue

-Billy

-Any of The Pack

[Rivalry]

Set during Eclipse

He hates Jacob Black.

There aren’t many people that Edward has ever hated. They say life is too short to hate; well if life is too short than immortality is far too long. There’s just no place for it.

And yet…

He hates Jacob Black.

He hates the things the mongrel represents. He hates the things that pup can give her that he never will be able to.

Like kids and warmth, light and the ability to age. Sure, the werewolf is immortal but only if he chooses to be. Edward never had that option and he can’t make that choice. Not even for Bella.

The creature he loves most in the world.

The creature that Jacob loves as well.

At the same time, it’s nearly impossible to hate him for the very things Edward wishes for. He supposes, as much as he’d never admit it, that he wishes he could be Jacob Black.

Minus the smell.

Except that Bella is in love with Edward. And he feels a pity for the wolf that only winners can muster. Alice’s vision has never faltered or faded.

He’ll win and Bella will die so that she can be with him forever.

It’s hard to hate Jacob Black when he’s the one person who could save Bella’s life. He has. He did. He could.

And yet…

He hates Jacob Black.

[Lost and Found]

He counts the beats of her heart and can’t help but remember the days that dragged on while Bella carried her. All his belief in karma has been tossed out the window because if he believes then he has to think its being heaped upon Renesmee now.

Edward takes his turn by her bed, her hot hand pressed between his palms, his lips against her wrist and he thinks she’s entirely too small to face something like this. Unlike Jacob who sat here before him, he doesn’t beg her to wake up. He doesn’t plead with her to say anything at all. Edward merely prays that she keeps breathing. He bargains with God to keep her heart beating. He’s trying to buy time for Carlisle to figure out how to make this better. He can’t lose her. Bella can’t lose her and he’s not sure Rosalie would survive either. The wolves would be a problem again and at a time they don’t need any problems.

Since the moment Edward met Bella, he’s been aware of how his world can hinge on one person but losing Nessie right now, he realizes how it’s possible for so many people’s worlds to hinge on one very special being. He kisses her knuckles and smoothes his hand over her brow. Her skin feels hot enough to scald him as he pushes her hair out of the way. Losing Nessie is going to kill them all, even if they save her by turning her.

He looks up at the sound of Carlisle’s footsteps on the stairs, staring expectantly at the door until he walks through. He can tell he’s found something by the look on his face and he comes to his feet, Renesmee’s hand placed carefully next to her side.

“Venom,” Carlisle says. “If I give her just a little, it’ll destroy the virus.”

“It could destroy her too,” Edward points out but he knows where Carlisle is going with this and he’s hopeful.

“I know. I’ve got to be careful to make certain I don’t give her too much. Monitor her heart rate and breathing then I’ll hook her up to a dialysis machine, clean out what’s left of her blood. An IV will help and in theory, she should be alright.”

He sounds confident and his plan makes sense to Edward but there’s still that lingering pessimism that’s an integral part of who he is. “It’s going to hurt her.” He knows this from experience so it’s not a question at all but a statement.

Carlisle’s nod is brief, almost nonexistent. “We can try giving her morphine.”

“No. That will impair her heart function even more.” And he’s not sure it will help much anyway. The venom burns from somewhere deeper than where morphine can reach. The only thing they can do is be there when she screams.

[Things I can Deny]

My little girl is growing up

My little girl is falling in love

I like Jacob Black

I don’t notice the smell of werewolf anymore

I don’t get thirsty for human blood anymore

I don’t wish I could see inside Bella’s head more often

I’m jealous of the amount of time Renesmee chooses to spend with Jacob

Sometimes I peek into Renesmee’s dreams

Sometimes I peek in Jacob’s head. Just to make sure.

[Independence Day]

He still smells like mountain lion according to Bella but his eyes are warm amber and he feels calmer than he did before. Remarkably so considering before the hunt, he wanted to kill Jacob for kissing Nessie and Embry for pointing out that it could have been worse. He can smell and hear Nessie up in her room and he sighs, not entirely sure he’s ready to deal with this despite the fact that he is calmer. Emmett, Alice, Jasper and Bella are in the living room watching something on TV. He shoots a look at Emmett who is grinning like an idiot and starts up the stairs. The hallway is too short and Nessie’s door is on the left side at the end. She rarely shuts it all the way and true to form its half way open but he taps on the doorframe anyway, giving her a moment before he steps inside.

Nessie is curled up on the bed, a stuffed dog tucked into her chest. Bella’s big brown eyes look up at him and all Edward wants is to make her happy, keep her safe and protect her regardless of the cost. He sighs and sits down on the edge of the bed, his hand going to smooth back her hair from her face.

“I’m sorry that I reacted so emotionally to what Jacob told me.” He knows he’s more likely to get his point across if Nessie isn’t angry or upset at him.

Nessie just shrugs in response and Edward wonders if her nose and cheeks are flushed because she was crying or if it’s just because she’s Nessie.

“Come on, Renesmee, talk to me.”

“Why? You can just read what you want out of my mind.” Her voice is scratchy, confirming that at some point there were tears.

Edward sighs and shakes his head. “No. That’s not how this conversation works. You have to talk back to me, let me know what you want me to know about this.”

Nessie sits up slowly, keeping her knees close to her chest as she scoots against the headboard, watching Edward like she expects him to take it back and that makes Edward want to kick himself again. “Really?” she asks and he nods, his hand going to rest against the arch of her foot. He watches as she takes a deep breath and counts the seconds while she holds it then lets it out. He is concentrating on everything, her heartbeat, her breaths, Emmett, Jasper, Bella and Alice downstairs. He is trying not to read her mind.

“I’ve been thinking about it for a little while. Everything is changing and I’m growing up and I feel different. I love Jacob and I know he loves me because he always has and I always have and I know I’m just like…seven but I’m not just seven. I tried to play with Claire in La Push the other day and…she’s a little girl and I’m not. I’m not trying to be bratty…even though I know I’m being bratty. I’m you’re little girl but I’m not a little girl and this isn’t the end of the world. This is just like…when I decided didn’t want to sleep with a nightlight anymore.”

Edward smirks and shakes his head. “You’ve been talking to Alice.”

Nessie shrugs in admittance. “A little bit.” She looks up to Edward, reaching out to put her hand on top of his. “We’re not doing anything wrong, Daddy. And Jacob is still Jacob. He wants me to be safe and happy. That doesn’t change because I kiss him or because he kisses me.”

“I know that, Renesmee but it doesn’t change that my first instinct is to hurt the guy who now has the potential to break your heart.” He reaches out and tucks her hair behind her ear.

“Daddy, he’s had that potential since I was born,” Nessie tells him with a smile just tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Nothing has changed there. Really…nothing has changed.”

Edward hesitates then, stumbling over the thoughts in his head as he tries to decide how to approach the next part of the conversation. He hears Emmett guffaw from below and he knows Alice is peeking ahead to see how this is going to go. Judging from Emmett’s reaction, awkwardly.

“You and Jacob-you’re not thinking-“ And this would be so much easier if he’d just maintain the silence and read her thoughts.

“Thinking what? Kissing him again? Do you want me to be honest or do you want me to lie?” Nessie asks as she tilts her head at Edward.

“Honest,” he answers. “I always want you to be honest with me, Nessie. I can’t control what I hear from your head without concentrating on not hearing it but I’d rather you tell then wait for me to find out.”

“And that’s exactly why Jacob told you. And that was his idea,” Nessie tells him with a sigh. “He didn’t want me to have to not think about it. He was telling you so that I could just be a normal teenage girl and be happy about my boyfriend.”

Edward bites his tongue hard to avoid telling her that she’s not normal and she’s not a teenager. It won’t make the conversation go any easier but he thinks it all the same.

“Good job, Edward!” he hears Alice yell through the floor and he takes a deep measured breath.

“Yeah, I’m thinking about kissing Jacob again,” Nessie answers honestly. She nibbles on her bottom lip, waiting for a rebuff of some kind from Edward.

“But that’s it?” Edward prods and he hears laughter from downstairs again. This time it’s Bella.

Nessie furrows her brow, giving Edward a confused look and slowly her features smooth out and her eyes go wide. “Daddy!!” She blushes bright red, confirming that indeed they’re thinking the same thing.

“You know, Edward, if you weren’t prepared for this you probably shouldn’t have knocked Bella up!” Emmet’s deep voice carries through the floors and walls.

“Don’t worry! I hit him!” Bella yells after a moment.

“I hope you hit him hard,” Edward replies with a dry smirk.

“I was imagining he was Jacob,” Bella responds and Nessie buries her face in her hands.

“That’s my girl,” Edward yells back around a chuckle. He nudges Nessie’s knee with his hand. “They’re kidding and they’re giving me a hard time. Not you.”

Nessie rolls her eyes and grumbles “Only in this house.” She raises her voice to a volume everyone downstairs can hear. “You all suck! I wasn’t even thinking about sex! I was just liking the kissing!”

“Y’know, Edward! I think you should get Nessie her own house! Something sturdy she can’t knock down.” Emmett is laughing so hard when he says it, the words are barely distinguishable. There’s the sound of an impact and a sharp sound from Emmett that might have been ow.

“Emmett, you suck more than any of them!” Nessie yells and there’s a fit of laughter from below.

“Only on special days!” he yells back.

“I’m moving to Canada,” Nessie grumbles to Edward and he shakes his head.

“I’ll go kill him later,” he promises Nessie. He quirks an eyebrow at her. “I promise I’ll try not to over react anymore. I may not be very good at it. I love you more than anything else in the world and I get a little crazy when you’re involved.” He reaches out and runs his hand over Nessie’s hair, fingers raking through the curls. “Don’t grow up too fast.”

Nessie shakes her head and scoots over to Edward, finally crawling up into his lap and resting her head on his shoulder. “I’m not trying to and no one is trying to make me. He’s not just some random guy. He’s the guy he’s always been, the one you trust me with and that loves me. Besides, why would I be in a hurry? Kissing is amazing and Jacob and I both have forever to get to where ever we’re supposed to end up.”

Edward puts his arm around her and kisses the top of her head.

“Hey! Edward! When Rose and I have kids will you give them the sex talk?” That’s followed by more laughter, this time mixed with Bella’s laughter.

Edward smiles tightly at Nessie. “Pardon me, I need to go kill Emmett.”

[Point of No Return]

He knows long before Bella goes into labor that they’ve reached the point of no return. He knows before she turns ghastly with pregnancy and he knows long before they figure out what the baby inside wants. This will only end in one way. Bella will die and either he will destroy her soul and honor his end of the bargain or he will be left with a baby to remind him of everything he’s lost. He knows he’s going to choose the former. He knows it and he hates himself for it.

He doesn’t let himself think about the baby, not even when he can hear her thoughts echoing in his head. His concern for Bella usurps all other worries and it is hours after she is born before he holds her. She’s tiny in his arms and deceivingly fragile. She’s asleep when Rose hands her off, reluctantly and he’s afraid. He’s afraid of this tiny creature that nearly killed Bella. He listens to her dream and there are no pictures; only voices and sounds running through her head. She likes Bella’s lullaby, that horrid, screaming music that Phil introduced Bella to and all of their voices. She catalogs them, as if she’s trying to keep them close. His hold on her is tentative as she starts to squirm, tiny limbs stretching and mouth forming an O as she yawns. Panic flutters in his stomach as he reaches his mind out to find Rose.

And then, Renesmee opens her eyes. She has Bella’s eyes. He clutches her a little bit tighter, a smile coming unbidden to his lips. He dips his head to brush a kiss across her forehead and he wonders how he ever thought he could exist without her.

[Control]

His control is exquisite. Of course he’s certain Bella would disagree with that but the fact remains it is second only to Carlisle’s. She is all folded up in a chair right now, book resting against one knee, cheek against one hand. Her position exposes the long curve of her neck and his teeth ache. He never shows his discomfort as he watches her, occasionally tucking his bottom lip between his teeth. He can hear her heart thudding comfortably in her chest and something deep inside of him aches. He doesn’t know how he’ll give up that lullaby that beats so perfectly in tandem with her breath. He wonders if she’ll smell the same, if she’ll drive him crazy with hunger and want and need just from the smell of her blood rushing through her veins. He knows it doesn’t matter, not in the long run. What he feels for Bella has nothing to do with her blood or her scent or her heartbeat or even her breathe. He stands up and crosses the room to run one cold finger down the curve of her neck then leans in to press his lips against her skin before pulling away. One of these days he won’t have to maintain control around her and he wonders if he’ll miss it at all.

We know from the book that Edward had some 'rebellious' years. This is about him coming back.

["Only after disaster can we be resurrected"- Tyler Durdan in Fight Club]

The hunger claws at him from the inside. He can hear it in his head.

skritch skritch skritch

The longer he went the louder it got until the skritch had become the rendering of flesh from bone. He puts his hands over his ears and when that doesn’t work, screams rip from his throat. By the time Carlisle finds him, he is a wreck. Esme is with him and the bundle him up in the car. He gracelessly guzzles cartons of animal blood from the butcher and when he looks back on this period of his life it will be with disgust.

At first it was easy to just take the rapists, the murderers, the thieves and other scum of the earth but eventually they all started to smell like food and he moved a step up in the class system. No longer did he stick to criminals. It became people just trying to scrape by, people that no one would ever notice. And then it was a young girl. A girl that he wooed with a smile and charmed with a compliment and as her blood ran through him, the guilt started eating at him, before her body was even cold. He couldn’t do it again. Wouldn’t do it again. He promised himself.

But he never realized how hard it would be. He tried to do it alone, redeem himself and in some way make himself worthy to fall back into Carlisle’s graces. It wasn’t until later when he was home, in front of the fireplace with Esme doting on him and Carlisle tending to him that he realized he’d never fallen from their grace. Only his and that was a much more difficult path back to redemption.

[How are you?]

It’s all circumstantial. My moods are mercurial and swing back and forth with whatever situation I’m in at the moment. At the moment, I’m well enough. Bella is safe, Alice is planning our wedding and I’m working on getting Bella and myself into college. What I am not doing, and what is normally the cause for my mood taking a dip, is considering that within months I will be turning Bella into a vampire. Provided she holds up her end of the deal, and I expect she will, I will be beholden to go through with mine. I don’t want Bella to back out in her deal. I want to marry her more than I want anything, more than I’ve ever wanted anything.

I worry. I worry about her soul. I worry about losing control. I’ve never turned anyone and yet I want to be the one that turns her. Rose brought Emmett to Carlisle because she doubted her strength and a part of me wants to give in and let Carlisle turn Bella. There are so many things that can go wrong and I know Carlisle will be there to guide me but it will still be my teeth in her neck and her blood in my mouth. And that worries me as well because I’ve fed on human blood. I had some rebellion years and I know how difficult it is to go back to that once you’ve feasted on it.

So how am I? I’m worried. That’s how I am.

I’m here because

[Locked]

I’ve been seventeen for ten years shy of a century. I think it’s safe to say that right there will give a person issues. Obviously though, I’m not a person. I’m a vampire and I believe that when I became a vampire, my soul was destroyed. I think that’s another reason to be in therapy. Finally, I’m in therapy because Bella is very close to fulfilling her end of the bargain. I promised her if she would marry me, I would turn her. It’s not that I don’t want to be with her forever. If I could dream at all it would be about being with her forever. It’s that I don’t want to destroy her soul. You see, I’m not immortal. I’m just immortal until someone stronger, faster or more clever comes along and when that happens, I will burn in Hell for a literal eternity. I don’t want to do that to Bella. She belongs where all angels go and maybe that’s sappy and sentimental but it’s true.

I guess I’m here to try and get over my issues so that I can go into my end of the bargain without feeling guilty.

Facts about me

1. I play piano fairly well
2. I prefer Classical music to everything else
3. I’m engaged to be married to one Bella Swan.
4. I’ve a degree from Julliard School of Music.
5. I am older than I look.
6. I’m adopted and I have four siblings.
7. I could be slightly addicted to fast cars
8. I’ve got excellent reflexes.
9. I don’t sleep.
10. I love baseball.

Eternity is a terrible thought. I mean, where’s it going to end? Tom Stoppard-Czech Winter


Most humans think eternity is a gift. They imagine this wonderful immorality, stretches of time in which they can watch the world and humanity change and evolve. And for the first twenty five years or so, it is fascinating. Sometime around that mark though, you realize how with every action humans impact the world around them. They strive, achieve and reach out. They forge relationships and have children. They give birth to the next Einstein or Currie. You see all of the, absorb all of this and you realize you are never going to impact the world. You’re like a ripple in a pool of still water. Once you’re gone, the water is still the same. There isn’t a single human being with their precious, incredibly short life span that can claim that. Regardless of how insignificant a human may feel, they aren’t. Not entirely.

There’s also the question of the actual where eternity ends. There’s only one way I know of to become physically and actually immortal. I believe that one way damns a soul to hell for a true eternity that fire only fuels rather than ends.

And she wonders why I don’t want to thrust her into eternity.

Take a look at the muse list for the community. Pick a muse that your muse does not have interaction with now (unless it’s casual meta) who would fit in each category, thinking about your muse and their basic personality, lifestyle, normal behavior and interests. Go with a first reaction. Remember, it cannot be anyone that your muse has played with in anything but the most meta of interactions.

1. A muse that your muse could conceivably date.
2. A muse that your muse could conceivably hate.
3. A muse that your muse could do business with.
4. A muse that your muse could hang out with in a bar.

1. A muse Edward could conceivably date: You wouldn’t believe how long it took him to pick someone. He’s incredibly picky. Canonically he doesn’t date anyone in 90 years until he meets Bella because no one else sparks his interest. However, he insisted that if I was going to make him do this prompt, I pick someone indestructible so Claire Bennet thecheerleader

2. A muse that Edward could conceivably hate: This one is easy Dracula vlad_t_drake Simply for putting all those myths out there that make his life that much more difficult.


3. A muse that Edward could do business with: Haley James Scott weara_halo He plays piano and writes music for it. She plays guitar and writes music. They’d get along well.


4. A muse that Edward could hang out with in a bar: Albert Einstein dreamingintime He’d just like to talk to him. He’s one of the greatest minds in the world and Edward would be fascinated to get his theories on everything.

Ten people I'd like to slap upside the head

1. Jacob Black

2. Jacob Black

3. Jacob Black

4. Jacob Black

5. Bella Swan but very gently

6. Jacob Black

7. Jacob Black

8. Jacob Black

9. Jacob Black

10. Jacob Black

Ten Things to do before I die

1. Marry Bella

2. Say I do to Bella

3. Be able to call Bella my wife

4. Put a wedding ring on Bella's finger

5. See Bella graduate from college. Alive.

6. Marry Bella

7. Marry Bella

8. Keep Bella safe. For good.

9. Marry Bella.

10. Marry Bella.

It's not so much that I'm one track minded, it's more that I've done so much. There's very little left that I want to do.

Remember. The most beautiful things in the world are the most useless by John Ruskin


These words aren’t always true. Look at Carlisle. He does and has done more for people than anyone I know. However, I tend to think Carlisle is the exception and not the rule. Beauty is a perception but there are certain kinds of beauty that are universal. Vampires adhere to that kind of beauty. It’s survival, a way to draw in our prey. We have to be universally beautiful in order to continue our existence.

Bella is constantly dazzled by the way that I look. The trap worked perfectly and if I were a typical vampire she would be nothing but a memory. And as a beautiful thing, I completely comply with Ruskin’s quote. I am useless. There is nothing I can do to save Bella regardless of how many times I rescue her. In the end, it is me and my beauty that will eternally damn her.

Not only do I exemplify Ruskin’s quote, I am even worse than useless. I am dangerous.

But my colors have all run



I don’t talk about the time I went to Italy much. It was a difficult time to say the least. I thought Bella was dead. Alice had seen her jump and when I called the house that dog had said Charlie was at the funeral. He hadn’t bothered to specify that it wasn’t Bella’s funeral. To be fair though, he had no reason to assume I would think it was Bella’s funeral.

I knew from the moment I left for Rome that I was going there to in effect commit suicide. It was something I’ve planned since almost the moment I met Bella. It was and still is my ‘in case of Bella’s death’ plan. I can’t and won’t live in a world that doesn’t have her in it.

I don’t really remember much about Rome. It was all in black and white, more black than white. Someone had put the sound and scents of the world on mute. And then I saw her across the courtyard and Rome exploded into color and sound and scent. It was like the world had been turned on again. Somehow, impossibly it would seem, she was alive and she’d come to save me.

My love for you is way out of line
Better run girl


Time and again I’ve told her I’m not good for her. I tried to get her to leave but she’s as stubborn as she is clumsy. Avoiding her is out of the question. Every time I’ve tried she’s ended up in some sort of near fatal circumstance. Quite frankly, without me to save her, Bella Swan would end up dead. She would have died that first day in the parking lot. The van would have crushed her. She might have gone onto a normal life after that. A normal life without me in it. Most of Bella’s near death experiences are a direct result of knowing me. She doesn’t even have to go outside to end up nearly dead.

I should have never fallen in love with her. More importantly, she should have never fallen in love with me. She should have run when she came into my world and she should have kept running. She didn’t though and now I need to protect her.