[Lost and Found]

He counts the beats of her heart and can’t help but remember the days that dragged on while Bella carried her. All his belief in karma has been tossed out the window because if he believes then he has to think its being heaped upon Renesmee now.

Edward takes his turn by her bed, her hot hand pressed between his palms, his lips against her wrist and he thinks she’s entirely too small to face something like this. Unlike Jacob who sat here before him, he doesn’t beg her to wake up. He doesn’t plead with her to say anything at all. Edward merely prays that she keeps breathing. He bargains with God to keep her heart beating. He’s trying to buy time for Carlisle to figure out how to make this better. He can’t lose her. Bella can’t lose her and he’s not sure Rosalie would survive either. The wolves would be a problem again and at a time they don’t need any problems.

Since the moment Edward met Bella, he’s been aware of how his world can hinge on one person but losing Nessie right now, he realizes how it’s possible for so many people’s worlds to hinge on one very special being. He kisses her knuckles and smoothes his hand over her brow. Her skin feels hot enough to scald him as he pushes her hair out of the way. Losing Nessie is going to kill them all, even if they save her by turning her.

He looks up at the sound of Carlisle’s footsteps on the stairs, staring expectantly at the door until he walks through. He can tell he’s found something by the look on his face and he comes to his feet, Renesmee’s hand placed carefully next to her side.

“Venom,” Carlisle says. “If I give her just a little, it’ll destroy the virus.”

“It could destroy her too,” Edward points out but he knows where Carlisle is going with this and he’s hopeful.

“I know. I’ve got to be careful to make certain I don’t give her too much. Monitor her heart rate and breathing then I’ll hook her up to a dialysis machine, clean out what’s left of her blood. An IV will help and in theory, she should be alright.”

He sounds confident and his plan makes sense to Edward but there’s still that lingering pessimism that’s an integral part of who he is. “It’s going to hurt her.” He knows this from experience so it’s not a question at all but a statement.

Carlisle’s nod is brief, almost nonexistent. “We can try giving her morphine.”

“No. That will impair her heart function even more.” And he’s not sure it will help much anyway. The venom burns from somewhere deeper than where morphine can reach. The only thing they can do is be there when she screams.